I Am Going to Seek a Great Perhaps: My Boldest and Bravest Move Yet

“I go to seek a Great Perhaps. That's why I'm going. So I don't have to wait until I die to start seeking a Great Perhaps.”― John Green, Looking for Alaska

On February 19 this year, I received an email. Attached to it was a lengthy letter but my eyes automatically gravitated towards two crucial words. 

DECISION: APPROVED. 

I knew right there and then that the course of my life was about to change—well, at least for a year, it would, because…

I am going to travel and live in New Zealand for 12 months!!! 

The email I received on that fateful day came from Immigration New Zealand informing me that my application for a working holiday visa was approved. This visa is highly competitive because there are only 100 slots allotted to the Philippines every year. 

When I got that email, I excitedly informed my family and close friends right away. I waited a month to notify my boss because we were preparing for major corporate events and programs then at work—I didn’t want to leave in the middle of everything. 

The Start of Something New

Last Friday (June 22) was my last day at work. I plan to fly to New Zealand by early August. 

Was quitting my corporate job and leaving behind everything in the Philippines to travel New Zealand a difficult decision? Frankly, no. Believe it or not, it was actually one of the easiest decisions I had ever made—and it was not because I did not love my job. In fact, unlike most people who quit everything to travel the world, I feel blessed to have a job that I don’t hate (on most days haha!), a company that is overflowing with generosity and kindness for its employees, and colleagues whom I consider as family. I was gaining a wealth of experience and learning; going to work each day didn’t feel like a drag. Maybe that was why I lasted for more than six years in this job. 

What made it easy was knowing how well-prepared I was to take my proverbial leap of faith. I keep telling myself, “It is time. Give this to yourself and take your chance.”  

WHY? AM I GOING CRAZY?

You see, since I was 22, I’ve been wanting to take a gap year at life; I wanted to try to live and work abroad, travel around new places. You know the drill: sell everything you own, quit your job, travel the world, get a tan, and fall in love.  But I was not emotionally and financially ready then—I was attacked by fearful thoughts of falling and failing along the way. After all, it was not the success formula I was accustomed to. 

Here in our country (The Philippines), you are expected to go to school, finish university and get a degree, get a great job, marry someone as successful as you are, have kids, and work hard until you retire. And there is totally nothing wrong with this. It’s the ideal life journey. However, a detour or a completely different route—such as quitting your stable job to travel or to pursue your passion—is considered to be an act of defiance. Expect people to bug you: “Sigurado ka? Nababaliw ka na ba? [Are you sure? Are you going crazy?]” It was difficult to do anything different so I meekly stuck with the standards. 

It was not until mid-2016 that I again seriously considered the thought of living abroad—my long-time boyfriend and I were targeting a specific country to land but things did not fall into places. At around the same time, I came across New Zealand’s Silver Fern and Working Holiday visas. I read through forums and blogs; nights after work were spent researching and reading on blogs about travelling to and living in New Zealand. Unfortunately, I failed to get a slot in both visa applications in 2016 and 2017 (they only open both visa types once a year). It was heartbreak after heartbreak. I took it as a sign that maybe, I was really meant to stay in the Philippines. 
Journey Towards the Great Perhaps 

But fate has a funny way of turning things around: in late 2017, just as when I had given up, my boyfriend got a job and was sponsored for an Essential Skills visa to New Zealand. On the last day of the year, he flew to Middle Earth.  This gave me the hope and courage I needed to believe in myself and seek my own Great Perhaps. I don’t want to look back one day and say, “I wish I tried. I wish I had enough boldness to do it.” I don’t want to be that girl who is forever afraid to spread her wings and try. 

And so, I tried my luck again in the 2018 Working Holiday visa application, which now leads us to today—me, writing this blog post and pouring my heart out on why I decided to leave the Philippines for a while to take this leap of faith. 

My last day at the office, my home for six years. 

When I got my visa approval email, I immediately thought: “Ito na ‘yung hininintay ko. Ito na ‘yung pinagtrabahuhan ko ng matagal na panahon. Ngayon pa ba ako aatras? Hihindian ko pa ba ‘to kung binigay na ni Lord?” I felt that God will not bring me this far to break my heart yet again; hindi ito ibibigay sa akin ni Lord kung wala siyang nilaan na magagandang bagay para sa akin doon. “Meant to be,” ‘yun ang nasabi ko sa sarili ko. 

You can tell by now that this decision was a natural step forward for Girl Chasing Sunshine. 

I truly felt that I had to endure each heartbreak and obstacle as we received bad news after bad news; I had to experience doubting myself over and over again; it was God in the works, preparing me for this very moment—for me to say, with unbreakable spirit and unshakeable faith, that I am truly ready to embrace whatever the universe has in store for me; truly ready to say “YES!” to new adventures in Middle Earth; truly ready for this chance to start anew; truly ready to chase my own sunshine.  

So now, if someone asks me how I dared to take this leap of faith into the unknown and where I got the crazy courage to do such an epic decision, here’s what I would tell: 

I simply followed my heart. 

And everything just felt right and light—like a feather graciously tumbling down on earth. 

Wherever life crossroad you are stumped with right now, everything will come easy if you just follow your heart. If you are inclined to take a great leap of faith or to seek your own Great Perhaps, if your heart says so, by all means, go ahead and jump! Know that you will be guided by Him. Trust in the things and the emotions that the good Lord is placing in your heart. Have faith in His plans for your life; have faith that He is in control. 

Will it be terrifying and daunting? Absolutely! Prepare for the worst. 

Will it be easy? Most probably not. But just trust and believe. 

Will there be bumps and humps along the way? Every freakin’ day, my dear. Hold on to your dear faith. 

Will I fail? Maybe. But as Erin Hanson says,“but darling, what if you fly?” 

But will it be worth it? A resounding YES! 

People have been coming up to me to say that they are inspired by my crazy courage. “I'm happy for you. Sobrang tapang mo. I wish I have the same courage,” they say. 

Please don’t get my confidence wrong. While leaving my career here in the Philippines behind was an easy decision to make, it was not without fear and doubts. Sobrang scary kaya! Ito talaga 'yung literal na pakikipagsapalaran! My heart goes into a wild somersault with booming sound effects just thinking about what my life in New Zealand would be like. 

But my excitement and happiness trump my fears. I trust that God will continue to bless me with unending favors and hear the rest of my prayers. 

I don’t know how far this decision would take me; Heck, I don’t even know what life will be like in the next few months but I am beyond ecstatic and excited to enter this new chapter knowing that I am guided with God’s grace and love. 

And that is the most beautiful reminder that I am bringing with me as I take this great leap of faith towards the direction of my dreams. Towards my own sunshine… 

So, What's Next? 
I'm preparing to move out of my apartment here in Manila where I've lived since mid-2013. I plan to stay in my hometown in Zambales until the end of July. 

By early August, I will fly into Auckland, with a short transit in Bangkok, Thailand. 

Over the next 12 months, I plan to travel around New Zealand while working on the side. Don’t worry, I’ll be sharing those experiences with you along the way so I hope you stick around as Girl Chasing Sunshine conquers Middle Earth!


Off to start a new adventure,